You say it, JRFM pays it!

Squeeeeeeeee!!! This is so fun! And hard. Here's why:

- the first thing you have to do is tell them how much money you need (want!) The maximum is $9,999. The temptation is to ask for the maximum, but I'd be worried that asking for it would make me seem greedy. If you ask for only what you NEED though, that defeats the purpose of the contest - FUN! So ask for what you WANT! Be brazen! Be honest! Be greedy! We understand...

- you only get 100 characters to tell them what you want the money for. 100 characters!!! I've already used 100 in this post! I suggest you use point form if there's more than one thing you want the money for... For example:

~dentures

~boat

~vacation

~boob job

- you only get 150 characters to tell them WHY you want it. 150!! GAH! Make it short but make it memorable. For example (as related to above):

~I miss chewing

~the fishing is better off shore

~I need to get away from/revisit my family

~I need a confidence boost

- once you have submitted your entry (must sign up to be an Online Insider, it's free and they don't send you crap), now you listen at 7, 11, 2, 5, and 7 from Monday the 31st to Friday April 4th. If for some reason you can't listen at some of those times, send me an email with your phone number and I will call you if I hear your name. (People wonder why I offer to do this for strangers and I say "why WOULDN'T you? I'd want someone to do it for me. Do unto others, etc.") So if you need some help, I'm happy to help: contestsvancouver@gmail.com

- once they call your name, you have 9 minutes and 37 seconds to call them back. This gives your friends (or me) about 4 minutes to call you, and gives you 5.5 minutes to steady your hands and fumble with your phone to dial 604-280-9370.

- once you're in, that only means you are QUALIFIED to win. Which means that your entry will be up on their site and you have to get your friends to vote for your entry. Some nice strangers may vote too, though at this point there's no incentive for them to vote at all... maybe all voters should be put in a draw for some concert tickets to entice them to vote? But ask your friends to vote just in case...

Voting opens Friday night, April 8th, at 8 pm. You can vote ONCE per hour per entry (so you can vote for 3 different entries every hour if you want) until 8 am. If you stayed up all day and all night to vote for yourself, you would amass 60 votes. If we get into the final round, this will be my husband's job...heh, heh...

If everyone whose name is called manages to call back within the allotted time, there will be 25 entries in the final round. Those are incredible odds for such a BIG prize! There's a 1 in 25 chance that you could win what you asked for! CRAZY!!! If someone doesn't call back, the odds are even better!

Things you need to know:

- must be 19 to enter

- one entry per person (don't use a different email address to enter again)

- BC residents only

I will be following this game closely, and tweeting all the names that are called. You can follow me on Twitter (@ContestsVan) or watch my FaceBook page (https://www.facebook.com/pages/Contests-Vancouver) for updates. If you want to send me your name and phone number, you can PM me on FB, send a DM on Twitter, or shoot me an email at contestsvancouver@gmail.com.

Now I must begin planning my entry carefully... this contest should not be entered in haste. The Waking Crew's discerning taste will determine whose entry will be read - make it clever! No one wants to hear about your broken heart, health problems, or the loss of your home, family, leg, etc. As sad and serious as those are, this contest is meant to be uplifting! So while you WILL be using the money to buy an iron lung, just tell them that you will be using the money for hiring the salvage divers to bring up the DeLorean you drove into the lake when you were 15. Or whatever.

Good luck!